btw. mali ang damit ni gary barlow sa relight my fire. tinatakwil na kita.
~
ang lawschool ay parang ang fettuccine ko kanina.i craved for it ever since the start of the sembreak. blame it on the fact that there is no pizza hut branch in plant, but i was craving for it. ms bungisngis even mentioned in one of her entries that i craved for it so much it was my motivation for staying in shape.
labo. pero yun.
fine. medyo lumakas ang loob ko kanina because i had some money to spend. one of the things i like about my parents: it came to a point that they pretty much
paid me just to go to the gym. and that repeated today. i had a few money to spend, i was starving from all the gym-ing and laughing me and mumiel and mel did while "working out", i was craving for it ever since. so go.
when i went inside pizza hut i was surprised because the waiter immediately considered me as to ordering a take out. maybe it was because of the way i looked. or that i was looking straight at the big take out sign. or that because i was alone, and i'm not the type who eats alone.
i was pleased, upon knowing that the price was relatively cheap compared to what i expected. considering the
dami of fettuccine pizza hut normally puts in a plate, or whatever you call it, i knew it was a bargain. sobrang sulit kumbaga. mura na bawi pa ako.
of course it entered my mind, that maybe i wasn't getting what i paid for. baka konti. considering the prices of everything nowadays. [segway:leche ka talgang babaeng ganid ka!!! sisirain mo ang bayang tinubuan ko!!! leche ka! mamamtay ka na!!!] but then i disregarded that thought. all i knew was, it's going to be perfect. and fab. and yummy.
i waited for it for quite some time. when i was about to reklamo na the adorable gay waiter handed me the long-awaited price. YEHEY, FINALLY. YOU'RE IN MY ARMS NOW, DEAR FETTUCCINE.=p
maliit xa. quite disappointing. it had a sour aftertaste. but it was packed with cheese. it was still perfect. hindi ako nabusog, but i loved every bit of it.
~
i should've told them earlier. she would've prayed for me.i finally told her. not everything but most parts of it. na kaya ko siya eh, kaso information overload. na hindi mo na alam kung ano ang info na dapat gamitin. and how you write, how you put your thoughts in order. ang operative word ay
kinakabahan.sayang. she asked me how come i kept it. dad never saw a sign of hardship on me.
dad. just because i still smile doesn't mean i'm handling things well. i try to handle it; i just lose most of the time.
i realized i'm okay with everyday recits; you can easily make up for it. but what scares me are those that are the bulk of this: midterms and finals. hirap ako sa kanila. gusto ko ang lawschool, sa tingin ko sa pagseseryoso kakayanin ko siya, pero nagbbreakdown ako kapg important dates.
a little something for my being ironic, huh.
****
nes was the second of the first two people who knew of my struggle with lawschool. she was of course, saying that i can make it, na kaya ko yun. yet now she's the only one who doesn't say that. she said that she thinks school is not the answer to finally make me more of an adult.
how come people say that? "kaya mo yan."just believe.""may pag-asa pa." am i being too pessimistic that i can't accept the notion of just believing? i wonder if they really mean it whenever they say such things. sometimes tuloy, nahahawa na ako. lately i've somehow learned to be a bit optimistic about it. that maybe kaya ko nga.
sana.
*sighs*
