The Melodie effect.
tinatamad na ako magtype. leche kang laptop ka.
anyway.
even if i admitted to some members of da perm that i can't reopen remembrances from the past because it not only relives memories but also because of the fact that the difference between the person i was then and that i've become is evident, i still couldn't help myself; i opened my journals which i didn't touch for like a year now.
i was supposed to include here one of my favorite entries pero tinatamad na ako eh. =p
but then, what the hell.
for the millionth time... I feel that I have to be a bitch again. Next week will be our DEATH anniversary. Until now, I hate him. Yeah, maybe I still love him and everything. But really, that sucks.
It is unfair. It has been unfair. He definitely is unfair.
He, as the kindest words that I could think of to describe him at least, is the devil. He is, I tell you.
I see no good bone in him. Really.
He cares for nobody around him --- and I'd puke to death if he says he cares for that girl. Is that girl human anyway?
I am now convinced that they are meant to be. He's the devil, she's plainly a dumb bitch inside that flawless [argghhh] skin.
I know I'll get karma because of this.
But I am thinking now, maybe the reason why I haven't moved on yet is because I didn't get the chance to express my anger. For a year now and I have only been weeping to death. Blaming myself. Thinking that it's my fault, and all in all my loss. And the dumbest part of all --- thinking I'm still in love with that imposter angel.
Right now I'm still thinking of the perfect description for them, bitch? Whore? Liar? Selfish? HEARTLESS? social climber? User? Plastic?
Simply put, both of them embody the most evil creature ever.
I was just this plain person, who tried to save one of them.
It's like this: whenever I am obsessed with that, I see or try to see the good side of him. But when I hate him --- and wish he'd just die, I see nothing good.
Gago siya! He was so dumb and stupid to let go of me. He eventually became the devil when he learned to admit it to me. That's not, love, that's making someone jealous, you moron!
You once said, and made me believe, that you loved me. Even if you have fallen out of love for me, you shouldn't have done all that you did!
You're a guy, and we don't scare losers like you.
No one knew you before me, look who'll give a damn about you after me.
Punyeta. I was your alas.
YOU'RE THE DUMBEST PERSON I KNOW!
Thanks, for not coming back. If you did, I won't be as pretty as I am right now. my life totally got better. [Circa 2001]
pero i'm past that now. it has been three years more or less. life went on. it had to. and i'm happy now. now a bit of a grown-up than when i wrote that, but there.
i was also reminded of something. an eternal question which was once puzzled me. i will just update it so that it would fit the present situation.
if fafajo and chito were both drowning, and i can only save one of them, who would i choose?
hmmm.
anyway.
even if i admitted to some members of da perm that i can't reopen remembrances from the past because it not only relives memories but also because of the fact that the difference between the person i was then and that i've become is evident, i still couldn't help myself; i opened my journals which i didn't touch for like a year now.
i was supposed to include here one of my favorite entries pero tinatamad na ako eh. =p
but then, what the hell.
for the millionth time... I feel that I have to be a bitch again. Next week will be our DEATH anniversary. Until now, I hate him. Yeah, maybe I still love him and everything. But really, that sucks.
It is unfair. It has been unfair. He definitely is unfair.
He, as the kindest words that I could think of to describe him at least, is the devil. He is, I tell you.
I see no good bone in him. Really.
He cares for nobody around him --- and I'd puke to death if he says he cares for that girl. Is that girl human anyway?
I am now convinced that they are meant to be. He's the devil, she's plainly a dumb bitch inside that flawless [argghhh] skin.
I know I'll get karma because of this.
But I am thinking now, maybe the reason why I haven't moved on yet is because I didn't get the chance to express my anger. For a year now and I have only been weeping to death. Blaming myself. Thinking that it's my fault, and all in all my loss. And the dumbest part of all --- thinking I'm still in love with that imposter angel.
Right now I'm still thinking of the perfect description for them, bitch? Whore? Liar? Selfish? HEARTLESS? social climber? User? Plastic?
Simply put, both of them embody the most evil creature ever.
I was just this plain person, who tried to save one of them.
It's like this: whenever I am obsessed with that, I see or try to see the good side of him. But when I hate him --- and wish he'd just die, I see nothing good.
Gago siya! He was so dumb and stupid to let go of me. He eventually became the devil when he learned to admit it to me. That's not, love, that's making someone jealous, you moron!
You once said, and made me believe, that you loved me. Even if you have fallen out of love for me, you shouldn't have done all that you did!
You're a guy, and we don't scare losers like you.
No one knew you before me, look who'll give a damn about you after me.
Punyeta. I was your alas.
YOU'RE THE DUMBEST PERSON I KNOW!
Thanks, for not coming back. If you did, I won't be as pretty as I am right now. my life totally got better. [Circa 2001]
pero i'm past that now. it has been three years more or less. life went on. it had to. and i'm happy now. now a bit of a grown-up than when i wrote that, but there.
i was also reminded of something. an eternal question which was once puzzled me. i will just update it so that it would fit the present situation.
if fafajo and chito were both drowning, and i can only save one of them, who would i choose?
hmmm.
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