there will always be something terrible about making one's mother cry.

i know. i'm not the best or the worst child ever born. however, do take note that once, when the family went to the province to visit my grandmother, i was told by a tita of mine [who apparently had like sto. nino sanib her body - sorry, the filipino-to-english translating dictionary here in the house is just plain useless] that i look up to my mom. that, in her own words, my mom is my idol. she also told me that my sister may be naughty, but she loves me [then how would you explain her neverending refusal to be  hugged by her ate?].

which, if you think about it, is true. she is my idol. because of her i was able to promise myself that i will be an independent person. she was my inspiration when i vowed to myself that if i will have children of my own, i won't make them do separate paalams when they have to go somewhere: one to me, one to my husband. well, it's not all bad, actually. she helped me be kind and understanding to others. you know, the nice things a mom does for her child.

except when it comes to her koreanovelas. that is where this part of this entry comes from.

see, i watched smallville's first episode for its latest season last season. i don't know what's up with studio 23's schedule, some shows' time slots are not conveniently on the dot. i mean, it is not always 8pm or at least 1030am; it is the only channel i know that has 710 or 1020 on its time slots. anyway, so smallville's at 910, and it pretty much makes it a problem for us since full house runs at around 950.

my mom is such a nagger when it comes to her koreanovelas, but that night i was not patient with her. see, i wasn't feeling well since the day before that, and i asked her, before smallville, to call the maid to massage me na. she didn't call the maid immediately, and the maids that we have right now have very heavy feet to carry them to us as soon as possible. so that obviously made me asar. what made me reach my threshold was this: when it's massage time na, she asked the maid to massage her first, because she was sleepy already!

i got that pissed that i didn't turn the tv to the channel of full house. my reason: she gets to see it 5 days i week, i see smallville in just 1. and besides, would you believe me discarding this...

for this?

and then the maid said i made her cry. which she never confirmed. whether that was true or not, it did pinch my heart.

****
i have a new kaaway.

apparently the maid brought chito to the bilihan of merienda yesterday, and the tindera of turon made comments about chito's smell. if i remember it right, it went like, "yuck, ang baho ng aso mo! tapos umihi pa. yuck."

i went beserk after that. i kept asking stuff like, "bakit, mabango ba siya? [to which the maid replied, siguro naman, naliligo yun araw-araw e] maganda ba siya? kung tao si chito, sinong mas maganda sa kanila, considering na hindi araw-araw naliligo si chito?"

it's on. it's time to clean up your acts, tindera ng turon. =p

****
it's our monthsarytoday! too bad we didn't get to celebrate it together, because i'm such a complicated being. well, i believe myself to be. anyway...

i'm still happy though. i'm as babaw as the next girl; i am already contented with just a few hours of just talking to him, of telling him everything that enters my pretty little head [kapal], of pretty much doing nothing with him.

hapi mwahnsary bebi joseph! love love!

jumping around by princess yves at 7:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

it has been three days since my tita left for australia. yup, i know, it has been three days since he met the relatives. i actually lied to my sister about something - i didnt finish my lunch not just because i was excited i was gonna see him; i was more of nervous because he's gonna see the family.

but it went fine, despite the petty fight we had hours ago about what he'll bring. it went fine, can't believe it but it did. Ü

then we went stright to the airport to hatid my tita. she was so sweet; too bad we [dad, mom, ivy and i] aren't used to being expressive. even in her texts to me days later, she seemed like she really misses us. =/

~~~~
i remember ivy last night. i was relying to Mom what my tita's text was that day [it went like, take care and be good always... love you], and i was explaining that my reply to that was a simple Ü because i am not expressive. then ivy pops the question of the month: are people who are emotionally undeveloped what the society considers retarded?

then i answer her, matter-of-factly: "ano ka bonga? ang tawag dun, pusong bato!"

o well.

~~~~
back to the story. so, after going to the airport, we went to the mall to do our grocery, and went home afterwards. Mom and Dad were reminiscing about the relatives, like how kulit my cousins are, how kuya ganito got so fat and stuff... and then i realized, the angkan is not perfect, compared to what i made myself believe it to be. it's not.

there will always be someone, sometime, who will act as the anak. anak, in the sense that that person would make a very bad decision and do something stupid. somebody has to be that anak once in a while.

the thing is, i can say that i have suppressed that ability of mine for the past, let me count, decade more or less. i was like every kid; i wanted to grow up as fast as i could. and after an accident that involved my short temper, i realized that it was time to grow up. it was time not to commit mistakes. i figured i have to be perfect, more or less.

but i'm not, and so is everything, everyone. just look at my angkan. it's very typically dysfunctional, and now that i realized it, i have nothing but admiration for them.

asan na pasalubong ko? kidding. Ü

jumping around by princess yves at 2:16 PM | Permalink | Comments

**turns out kuya nash's schedule yesterday wasnt that hectic at all. he just went to the hospital to give something to my mom and went back to alabang where my sister and i were dropped off.

pretty plain than what i was told.

o well, everything changes. from the koreanovelas to the maids' moods to my favorite color, everything does. it's just that i am not always for it. it's like, i can totally relate to keane's carrier single.

'you're aching, you're breaking, and I can see the pain in your eyes..'

i'd probably get sick when i get old. a mental sickness. probably schizophrenia. or that illness wherein you have unconsciously created another world, another life in your mind, and now it has gotten so big it takes over you.**

~~~~
hehe. if you don't understand me, i apologize. it's just that for a year now i have intentionally decided to go on a hiatus and be a hermit on our own house, that i have only joseph [the boyfriend, my bebe] to be there for me pretty much all the time to tell everything to.

i have slowly become a sponge and whenever i write stuff like this i absolutely feel squeezed out of things to say.

~~~~
ok, let's start with what happened yesterday. after kuya nash dropping us off in town me and beng [my sister] went to go see a movie. yeah i know, it was wrong of me to not tell joseph about this beforehand but i've told him this already and i've been given a, should i call it punishment?

there. so we went to see the wedding date, coz there's no ms. congeniality anymore. darn it, i know. initially i was planning to see it with my bebi but because of how complicated i assume my life is to be, that is rather a dream than a plan.

yes, yes. about the movie. l-o-v-e-d i-t. it seemed maiksi and bitin, true, but it's all there. i love it when after watching a movie, you still go gigly because of much kakiligan. and the chemistry. debra still had some of her grace adler character but in a charming, chic, less quirky way, and dermot, please. his character does have a way with the girls. hihihi....Ü

oops! joseph! bawal tampururot! =o

~~~~
he's gonna visit me here tomorrow. joseph. after three weeks of waiting my tita [who ironically is leaving tomorrow to go back home to australia] will finally meet him. well not just my tita. ive got two more titas expecting to meet him.

the pressure, i know. me being the neverendingly paranoid girl thinking that she is always being judged. i just gotta believe that everything's gonna be alright. besides, i'm not joseph; unlike me, he likes being interviewed by his girlfriend's relatives.

this is it.

~~~~
im sleepy now, no time to be madrama about something else. write in soon.

btw, happy bday rav!Ü hope youo'll learn new tricks other than sitting!

jumping around by princess yves at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

ah! my first post and im rushing!

i gotta go, ive a lot of things to got through today.

well, not really me. the car, most accurately. the car and the driver, kuya nash, have to go to lots of places today.

hectic is the word.

write in soon.Ü

jumping around by princess yves at 6:40 AM | Permalink | Comments